Man and Tranquility in the Family

By Hussain Karimian

Translated by Nayyrerh Towhidi

In a Hadith we read: “The woman who renders patience towards her husband’s bad temper will have the reward (given by Allah) to Prophet Ayoob (AS)’s wife.”

In another Hadith from the Infallible, we are advised thus:”The man who torments his wife will have his prayers and fasting rejected by Allah till he wins her content and the same rule also applies to women regarding their conduct towards their husbands.”

These and many other similar divine teachings point to the significance of moral virtues in the family environment. No doubt, patience, tolerance, forbearance and forgiveness are among the basic factors, the observance of which is needed for the well-being and happiness of the couple as well as the other members of the family, particularly children and their proper upbringing. Imam Ali (AS) is quoted as having advised his son – Muhammad Hanafiyyeh to “Be always tolerant and well-behaved towards your family to have a pleasant life.”

It goes without saying that a man who desires a good life both for himself and for his family should be patient and forgiving in the family environment, should avoid fussiness and should never allow himself to cause annoyance to any of his family’s members. Evidently such a man will besides enjoying a pleasant worldly life, enjoy great Divine rewards, as Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) has clarified: “The one who is patient and tolerant regarding his/her spouse’s bad temper will be granted by Allah the reward given to Sabiran (the Patient servants of Allah) and “The one who beats his wife while she has done no wrong will have me (Allah’s Last Messenger) as his enemy.”

As for the teachings regarding a wife’s conduct, there are also certain other Ahadith including a Hadith from Imam As-Sadiq (AS): “The prayers (Salat) of a woman having gone to sleep while her husband has been dissatisfied with her will not be accepted by Allah till she wins her husband’s satisfaction.”

Likewise, a man’s love and nice conduct are vital factors in the happiness of his family and his offsprings. Luqman- the great sage is quoted as having advised his son thus: “It is good and becoming for a wise man to be jovial like children, affectionate and sweet in his family environment and to be manly and dignified in the society and among the people.” 

In this regard, certain Ahadith are also of particular significance and benefit.

“Prophet Muhammad (PUBH) has stated: “A man’s sitting with his family is more loved by Allah than his staying in this mosque (of mine) for worship and meditation.”

Also Imam Sajad (AS) is quoted as having cited a man’s good temper and conduct towards his family as one of the signs of his excellence in faith.

Obviously, a man’s attentive presence at his household and among his family members is among his duties towards them and among their rights upon him. Needless to say, proper fulfillment of this duty on the part of the man contributes considerably towards the spiritual upliftment and emotional well-being of his spouse and children, just as neglect of this important duty can cause various failures and shortcomings. Of course, this presence needs to be accompanied by, besides affection, attempts towards giving the children proper education and the lessons they really need for their future.

As for showing affection towards children, Prophet                       Muhammad (PBUH) has himself been the best model and example. His Holiness has been most kind, tender, loving and affectionate to all children, both those of his Household and the others’ children. In fact, kindness towards children has been among the virtuous manners Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) was known for.

Following in the Footsteps of   Allah’s last and most revered Messenger – Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) - his infallible offsprings exhibited the same praiseworthy manners. It has been narrated that a man asked the Master of the Martyrs, Imam Hussein (AS): “Whom shall I do favour and good” His                                                            Holiness- the Imam replied: “Your parents.” Then the man asked, and “who else?”, in whose reply Imam Hussein(AS) said: “ Your children.”

As for the obligation to support and render all needed help and services to one’s family, it is evident that a man, as a husband and/or a father is endowed by the Gracious Creator with strong emotions which serve as motives for him to try his best to fulfill this obligation, which is very rewarding too as Prophet       Muhammad (PBUH) has stated: “Being helpful and of service to one’s family compensates for one’s major sins, and removes Allah’s wrath.”

Regarding the significance of man’s showing love, respect and care for his wife, there are also certain illuminating Ahadith including this Hadith from the Holy Prophet (PBUH) of Islam: “ The best of you are those who are best to their women.”