Be Responsible

Compiled by: Reza Yarijiabadi

"Allah will (on the Day of Reckoning) question each person in a position of responsibility about what he /she was responsible for -in his worldly life." The Holy Prophet of Islam (PBUH)

Children, whether male or female, are the greatest and most beneficial blessing that God has favored His servants with.

The Holy Qur'an says: "And God has made for you mates (and Companions) of your own nature, and made for you, out of them, sons and daughters and grandchildren, and provided for you sustenance of the best."  [The Holy Qur'an: Nahl: 16:72]

The Sixth Imam quotes the Holy Prophet as saying: "Love your children and have mercy on them." [Vasa'il, v.21, p.483]

Some people do not show much affection towards their children. They are harsh and strict when interacting with their children. These people must know that using this method, which is inhumane and non-Islamic, will deprive them of God's Mercy. Imam Sadiq says: "In fact, God shows mercy upon His servants, just for the strong love they have for their offspring." [Ibid]

The Seventh Imam said: "God the Great does use things like His Anger against women and children." [Vasa'il, v.21, p.484]

God's Anger is shown in the case of faithlessness and bad-temperedness towards one's family. The Sixth Imam said: “Moses said the following to God when he was on the Tur Mountain: "God, which action according to You is the best? God said that loving children is the best one."

Islam affirms a child’s right to health and life, to a family, name, property and inheritance, healthcare and proper nutrition, education and development of talents as well as the right to live in security and peace and enjoy human dignity and protection under the guardianship of parents.

The Prophet (PBUH) stated: "Five people have left this world but their files have not been closed. Reward is continually bestowed upon these people: 1) The one who plants a tree 2) The one who digs a water well for others to use 3) The one who builds a mosque 4) The one who takes down the Qur'an and 5) The one who leaves behind a decent child. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.104, p.97]

A child’s right to health and life

Islam urges mothers to safeguard their fetus and do all they can to prevent a termination of pregnancy.  The fetus has the right to be protected against being subjected by its mother to any kind of harm, such as malnutrition, injury …. It is a Shariah-based duty that a human being should do nothing that might lead to harming one’s self or any other human.

The fetus requires special nutrition with a high content of protein, vitamins and minerals including calcium. These nutrients can only be acquired via the conceiving mother who should make sure she is well nourished herself. It is for this reason that the Islamic Shariah makes it incumbent upon the husband to sustain the mother and her child and increase the mother's share of food and drink to remain healthy. It is also his duty too to provide her with psychological care.

Both parents must pay utmost attention to fully observe their duties toward their expected child by avoiding anything that may cause harm to it and taking all measures to increase its chances of enjoying good health.

Once a child is strong enough and past the nursing stage, the parents must provide appropriate nutrition to sustain continued growth. It is also the parents’ duty to attend to any medical needs the child may have as a result of illness. They must take every precaution and protective measure to prevent their child from falling ill. Foremost among these precautions is to administer the necessary vaccinations. Neglecting such a responsibility amounts to a grave sin for which the parent is accountable before Allah, the Lord of All Creations.

Kiss Children

Kiss your children a lot, because kissing children will increase their self-confidence. This way, they will feel your affection and security.  A man came to the Prophet (PBUH) and said: “I have never kissed my child.” The Prophet (PBUH) said: “In fact, this man was a resident of Hell.” There is no difference between boys and girls in this regard.

According to Qur'anic texts, children are a gift from the Almighty Allah to His faithful servants. They are also one of the blessings bestowed upon them by the Almighty God. “Unto Allah belongs the sovereignty of the heavens and the earth. He creates what He wills. He bestows female (children) upon whom He wills, and bestows male (children) upon whom He wills; or He mingles them, males and females, and He makes barren whom He wills. Lo! He is the Knower, Powerful.”

Gender equity: No matter whether a child is born male or female, there should be no discrimination in the reception prepared for the newly born, as they are ushered into life. The Qur'an disapproves of those Arabs who celebrated the birth of male children but expressed sadness and dissatisfaction when females were born. The Almighty Allah deplores such attitudes in the following Qur'anic verses: “When if one of them receives tidings of the birth of a female, his face is darkened with displeasure, and he is worth inwardly. He hides himself from the folk because of the evil of that whereof he has had tidings, (asking himself): "Shall he keep it in contempt, or bury it beneath the sand. Verily evil is their judgment.” [Al-Nahl (The Bees); verses 58- 59]

Psychological care for children: Children should receive pleasant names so as not to be subjected to embarrassment and psychological disturbance or attract ridicule. It is preferable that names given to newly born children be acceptable and not weird or objectionable. The Messenger of Allah(PBUH) said: “Honor your children and give them pleasant names.” He also said: “The most beloved of names to Allah is Abdullah and Abdurrahman.”

A child’s right to education and development of talents

Once children reach the age of comprehension and learning, parents must provide knowledge that may develop their offspring’s intellectual capabilities. Children need such guidance, so they can recognize the various aspects of life and know how to deal with what happens around them. Such knowledge will help children understand that they are part of a collective society and that they cannot live isolated from others. Since seeking knowledge is a religious duty in Islam, parents are expected to provide education for their children as they take their first steps in life. Negligence in carrying this duty will lead to further possible negligence towards their children later on. Once the foundation is lost, nothing remains to build on afterwards. It is reported that Imam Ali bin Abi Talib (AS) said: “Teach your children things you did not learn when you were in their age for they have been created for a time that is different from yours.”

Shariah offers equal opportunities in education to males and females. In a Hadith, the Prophet (PBUH) said: “The seeking of knowledge is obligatory upon every Muslim male and Muslim female.”

Quality of education: Muslims must spend money and efforts to acquire knowledge. This is in accordance with the command of the Holy Prophet (PBUH) who said: “Seek knowledge even if it be in China.” Islam regards teachers as the pillars of the educational process and highlights the significance of their role and influence over children. Muslim caliphs and governors emphasized the role of teachers. These included Omar bin Utbah, who wrote to the teacher of his children: “Let your first action in attending to my children be in attending to yourself. Their eyes will see what your eyes see. They will see good in the things you do and bad in the things you renounce.”

Life skills: Children have the right to be trained by their parents to perform the rituals of their religion. The importance of early training is that it allows religious practice to become an easy and acceptable habit that children will maintain and preserve. Parents should endeavor to be role models for their children in terms of adhering to the best form of conduct. They also have the obligation to provide their children with love, kindness and mercy and to avoid harshness and cruelty.

A child’s right to lead a dignified and secure life: Shariah prescribes that the father has the responsibility for the financial requirements of the children. He is duty-bound to guarantee their safety. The Almighty Allah said: “The duty of feeding and providing clothes for nursing mothers in a suitable manner is upon the father of the child.” [Al-Baqara (The Cow); verse 233].

Allah also says: “Let he who has abundance spend of his abundance, and he whose provision is measured, let him spend of that which Allah has given him. Allah asks naught of any soul save that which He has given it. Allah will vouchsafe, after hardship, ease.”