Women and Family as Viewed by Imam Ali (AS) | ||
Women and Family as Viewed by Imam Ali (AS) Compiled by: Hussein Saeedi Translated by: Shiva Mirhassani
Imam Ali (AS), like his exalted matchless divinely guided teacher, Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), would hold women in great respect. His Holiness has been quoted thus: “None but the noble respect women and none but the base hold women in contempt.” Likewise, Imam Ali (AS) has advised his men not to give any work which is beyond women’s power to them, because [according to Imam Ali (AS)] women like flowers have delicate and fragile bodies and souls. Regarding good women, Imam Ali (AS) has been quoted as saying: “The best of your women are mild, good-tempered and contented ones.” Moreover, Imam Ali (AS) has advised his followers to be kind and well-behaved to their wives and other Mahram (confidant) women, so according to the Imam Ali (AS), those women too, become kind and well-behaved, saying: “Women are entrusted to you by Allah, so mind not to harm them and never to leave them alone in hardships.” Imam Ali (AS) considered ‘family’ to be of great significance, so much so that once His Holiness wrote to a man thus: “Do not suggest divorce at all.” Like Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), Imam Ali (AS) would encourage anything which adds to the warmth, pleasantness and strength of the family institution and would likewise discourage any thing which might harm it in any way.” So much so that his learned followers has regarded a man’s having his meals with his wife as a reward-worthy act. Imam Ali (AS) would, on various occasions present illuminating directions and advises to both husbands and wives so their marital life would become a pleasant, flawless and fruitful as possible, and would remind men of the significance of having a good wife with such blessing better than a good wife – the wife upon whose sight the husband feels happy and who when away from her husband, guards her husband’s possessions, reputation and honour. In fact, according to the Infallible Imam, a sympathetic spouse contributes a great deal towards one’s emotional tranquility. It has been narrated that once a man rushed to the Imam complaining about his wife. The Imam (AS) advised the man to be fair, well-behaved, and forgiving towards his wife in all conditions, so their marital life would become a happy one. In fact, Imam Ali (AS) repeatedly asked men to be best husbands for their wives, saying: “The best of you is the one who is best to his wife….” As a matter of fact, Imam Ali (AS) was himself the best of the followers of Prophet Muhammad(PBUH) since his most revered wife, Her Holiness Fatimah(SA) had told her exalted father, Prophet Muhammad(PBUH) that her husband, Imam Ali(AS) , was the best husband. Imam Ali (AS) like Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) would advise men to make their appearance nice, neat and pleasant for their wives, to wear clean clothes, to wear perfumes, to brush their teeth, to comb their hair and to take baths as frequently as possible and likewise to make their tongues to their wives soft and pleasant. The Imam has even said that Allah will not regard as just the man who torments his wife through his tongue; by using foul, unpleasant language, and that such a man would be among the first to enter the fire even if he has spent his days in fasting and nights in prayers and given away much in charity. Regarding the Infallible Imam’s (AS) emphasis on men’s duty of supporting their wives here we mention a Hadith from Imam Sadiq(AS): “Imam Ali(AS) would make any man who refused to pay for his wife’s living expenditures fulfill his duty and pat the expenditures for his wife.” As we all know, Imam Ali (AS) as the leader of Islamic society himself lived a very ascetic life, but would not encourage the others to be as ascetic as he himself was and rather would allow the others to let their dependents enjoy some luxuries in life (including gold and silver ornaments for women and children), of course within limits and with the money gained through halal (legitimate) means. As for behaving justly towards wives, there are also numerous Ahadith from the Infallible including from Imam Ali (AS) who was himself an incarnation of justice. The Imam would seriously warn men against any improper suspicion and sensitivity about their wives, saying that unreasonable suspension will push the chaste ones towards impiety and indecent conduct. Following in the footsteps of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), Imam Ali (AS) would with the house chores, including baking bread and bringing water a great deal. There are in fact certain Ahadith from these exalted men of God regarding the rewards given by Allah to men who help at home, as well as on the necessity of a man’s keeping the promise he has given his wife, of course in so far as keeping the promise does not involve any sin. As for guidelines on marriage – dowry, here we narrate a Hadith from Imam Ali (AS): “A huge marriage dowry breeds enmity.” From this and other Ahadith in this connection, we can infer Islam aims at happy successful marital lives for all, and thus frowns upon anything which might harm the warm environment of family life. We know that Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), Imam Ali (AS), Her Holiness Fatimah (SA) and their infallible offspring have advised both husbands and wives to be gentle, considerate and forgiving towards each other. In a number of Ahadith we read that the man or the woman tolerates the bad temper of his or her spouse will receive unlimited rewards from Allah and likewise the harsh, violent and/or inconsiderate spouses will be driven away from Allah’s Mercy. In the same vein, the Infallible(AS) have enjoined parents to love and respect their children and to endeavor to give them good education and training teaching them the Holy Qur’an and Ahadith first and foremost. In various Ahadith, the Infallible (AS), including Imam Ali (AS) have been quoted as saying that “A man’s looking affectionately at his children, his kissing them and making them happy are very reward-worthy acts for him.” Imam Ali (AS) has also enjoined upon parents to keep the promise they give to their children. And last but not the least, we would like to draw the esteemed attention of our dear readers to certain Ahadith from the Infallible lady of the ladies of the worlds, the beloved daughter of Allah’s last and exalted Messenger, the endeared wife of Imam Ali(AS) and the mother of the masters of the youth of Paradise [Imam Hassan(AS) and Imam Hussein(AS) – Her Holiness Fatimah Al-Zahra(SA)]: “A woman’s Jihad (struggle in the way of Allah) is her making the efforts to be a good wife.” “A woman’s most valuable ornament is her Jihad.” “To ignore one’s duties towards one’s parents results in one’s becoming deprived of Allah’s Mercy.” “The best of you – men are those who behave best towards your families.” May Allah make all Muslim families truly happy ones! Amen.
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