Love and Faith

Translated by: Mina Salimi

Expressing thanks on a permanent basis to one’s spouse is a must for the marital life to be sweet, desirable and durable. It is by no means enough for a married couple to just love each other in their heart. Rather, they need to be also loving and affectionate towards each other in words, since such words leave profound and blissful impressions upon the heart, in particular upon women’s heart as Allah’s last messenger, Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), has stated, “Saying ‘I love you’ by a man to his wife will have lasting impression upon her heart.” When a woman hears the sentence ‘I love you’ addressed by her husband, she is filled with joy and hope and thus becomes able to perform her duties with a hopeful spirit and encouraged mind and to tolerate the hardships and burdens of life with more ease and tranquility.  Unfortunately, there are husbands who though love their wives and are pleased with her behavior, do not express their love in words, nor do they bother to thank their wives for the selfless services they render at home. Such men probably imagine that it would be below their dignity if they show love and gratitude to their wives and/or they would spoil their wives if they express love and affection to their wives and show some thankfulness to them. This attitude is certainly a wrong one, and needs to be removed. In fact, both husbands and wives should regard expression of love and thankfulness to each other as a key to their happiness. Here certain guidelines are presented in this regard: whenever your spouse looks tired, try to help her/him in any possible way. Whenever he/she looks unhappy try to help remove the sad feelings.

Do respect your spouse’s need for privacy and never disturb his/her privacy unnecessarily.  Whenever you feel tired and really in need of  rest and some privacy, make sure to let your spouse know that he/she is by no means to blame for that, and try to make the environment  as lively as possible upon feeling refreshed (after a rest). When in a gathering and/or in presence of the other family members, hold your spouse in respect and speak to the others about his/her praise-worthy quality and manners.

When you are in a party or some other gatherings pay more attentions to your spouse than to the others. Never forget to express your love to your spouse through a gift and/ or a note on happy occasions such as his/her birthday or your wedding anniversary. Try to be sympathetic to your spouse, under all conditions and also to let him/her know about your being a truly sympathetic spouse. Try to treat your spouse the way you treated him/her on the first days of your marital life.

Be a helping hand at home and as far as possible. Try to replace harsh arguments with friendly talks, instead of standing before each other, stand at each other’s side. Ask for your spouse’s views as often as possible. Express interest in what your spouse is interested in (as far as possible or expedient). And how nice it will be if each man keeps in mind this saying of Imam Ali (AS): “A woman is as a flower”, which saying implies, including others that women are delicate beings and need care and proper treatment in order to be pleasant.

In this regard, martyr Mutahhari, the great Islamic scholar and theologian, presented an interesting comparison: A man (husband) is as a mountain and a woman (wife) is a fountain, their children being flowers and plants growing out of the mountain which receives life-giving water from the fountain (of the being of the woman). Thus as the lives of beings on the mountain depend upon the water, so the life, happiness and prosperity of children depend upon the vitality, hopefulness  and will-power of the woman (mother) who needs the care and support of the man (father) as the mountain holds and supports it’s fountain, and likewise the man (father) is in need of the life-giving water of the fountain (mother) in order to become a suitable place for the growing of beautiful plants and fragrant flowers.

For these very significant reasons, Islam as the most perfect Divine faith attaches great significance to good and proper relationships in the family environment and between spouses, and Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and the Infallible Imams (AS) have presented numerous instructions regarding the necessity of showing love, affection and respect for one’s spouse. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) has regarded showing love and affection for one’s spouse as a criterion for and a sign of one’s faith (Iman) and said: “The greater one’s faith, the more he/she expressed love towards his/her spouse.”

Courtesy: Hamandish Magazine